


DAMMIT VROOM VROOM

by lizwuzthere



Series: One Shots/Drabbles [4]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4246041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizwuzthere/pseuds/lizwuzthere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sure you know Moon Moon, well as it turns out, the Transformers have their own version. His name is Vroom Vroom. And this poor Vehicon just has the worst luck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DAMMIT VROOM VROOM

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phase7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phase7/gifts).



> Inspired by [this Tumblr post](http://lizwuzthere.tumblr.com/post/122900876355/if-we-can-have-moon-moon-why-cant-transformers), which is wonderful.

The battle was going exactly to plan. Not only did the Decepticons have numbers on their side, they had managed to out-flank the Autobots and force them to retreat into their base. Unfortunately for them, the base was surrounded and there was nowhere to run. The 'Bots were cornered.

Downdraft continued to relay orders to the troops to ensure the Autobot's defeat, but they were also slightly distracted. It had been awhile since their battalion had achieved such a swift and decisive victory. Reporting this back to the Commander later that cycle would a sincere pleasure.

“Sir!” A ground trooper ran up to the vantage point Downdraft and the other senior officers were watching from. She saluted quickly, then continued, “We've claimed the inner chamber of their base, but the 'Bots are barricaded into their energon storage area. Reaching them will take a bit of time, but they won't hold us off for long..”

“Well done, Clutch. Do we know how much supply they have?”

“Yes, sir.” Clutch straightend her posture proudly, “There are at least 1.5 tons. And I can confirm they're out of weapons. Once we get in they'll have no defense left against us.”

That was even better news! Dead Autobots was always excellent, but seizing the Autobot's energon was really something to be celebrated. It wasn't appropriate for a commanding officer to look giddy though, so Downdraft nodded curtly and thanked the soldier. She returned the nod with a salute and headed back down the slope towards the battle.

Once she had gone, they raised a digit to their comm link. “Runabout. Let your squadron know we are aiming to take the energon stockpile for ourselves. The Autobots are top priority, obviously, but not at the expense of losing the-”

Before they could finish their sentence, an explosion rocked the base below them, and teal flames blew out the furthest wall. The ground shook even from where Downdraft was standing and they had to adjust their footing so as not to fall. After taking a moment to recover from the sudden shock, they raised a digit to their comm again.

“What the frag was that?!” they demanded, “That better not have been the energon stockpile or I'll-”

Downdraft cut off their sentence suddenly and their wings flared out angrily as they spotted a group of red and white vehicles driving out of the new hole in the Autobot base and off towards the horizon. “The Autobots! They're escaping!! Cut them off NOW!!”

It was useless, though. The troops that had been positioned on that side of the base had been thrown back by the explosion. The Vehicons were probably too disoriented to even stand, let alone hold off a squadron of Autotroopers.

Getting no response from this order, Downdraft turned to the Eradicons nearby and ordered them to pursue the 'Bots. Once they'd gone, they returned to their comm.

“Runabout, there had better be a good fragging explanation for this.” their vocalizer was quiet but there was no mistaking the rage hiding just underneath their calm tone.

After a moments hesitation, the nervous voice of Runabout came through on their comm. “ _Sir, I... I'm sorry to report, the Autobots used a grenade to... well, they used it to destroy the energon storage area and escape._ ”

“I was under the impression they had no weapons.”

“ _Yes, sir. The grenade was uh... it was one of ours._ ”

“HOW THE FRAG DID...?! How did they get one of our grenades?”

“ _Well you see there's um... there's this one soldier in my platoon and he's... To be perfectly honest, sir, he's a bit_ uncoordinated _, let's say._ ” Runabout paused a moment, and Downdraft could hear him sigh. “ _He tripped, sir. And one of his grenades rolled up to the Autobots just before they barricaded themselves in the stock room._ ”

Downdraft released their comm so they could groan without their subordinate hearing. The Decepticons had this victory in the bag, and it was gone because of one clumsy Vehicon. This was not going to look good. In fact it was downright embarrassing! Downdraft was not so keen on reporting back to the Commander now.

“Who was it?” they finally asked.

“ _...He's new to my group, sir. You just assigned him there recently in fact, so maybe go a bit easy on hi-_ ”

“I want names, soldier.”

Another pause on the other end, until Runabout finally spoke again. “ _It was Vroom Vroom, sir._ ”

“What?! _That_ bolthead? Who the frag invited Vroom Vroom?” Downdraft practically shouted this. “I had him stationed back at central where he couldn't pull this slag anymore!”

“ _Yes, but then remember the incident with the welding drum and the engine grease? You reassigned him after that._ ”

“Ah, right... how could I forget _that_?” Downdraft grumbled, rubbing the side of their helm in frustration. “Alright, send half your squad out to track the 'Bots. The rest of you get to work stripping the base of whatever else we can find... I'll call central for backup.”

“ _Yes sir!_ ” And with that Runabout disconnected.

Downdraft started down the slope towards the base, signaling to the troops stationed at the entrance to head inside, all while they dialed their comm into the nearest Decepticon base.

As they approached the Autobot base, a very flustered looking Vehicon came stumbling out of the open gate.

“Sir!” He called as he rushed towards Downdraft. “Sir, I'm so _so_ sorry about this! Honestly, I promise from now on I'll keep a tight grip on all these grenades. See? I'm even- oop!”

Even as he spoke, his pede caught on an outcropping of scrap metal and the 'Con went tumbling to the ground in a heap. The grenade he'd been holding in his servo, which he had hoped to hold securely onto to show his trustworthiness, went flying out of his grasp as he struck the ground and tumbled towards the feet of his superior, Downdraft.

Unluckily for Downdraft, being fumbled along the ground had struck the grenade in just the right places to activate it's timer sequence. They had just enough time to scramble backwards a few feet throwing up their arms as a useless, makeshift protection.

“AGH!! DAMMIT, VROOM VROO-”

_BOOM!_


End file.
